Clik here to view.
Hey, Mirror! Did you order brain pizza?!
Nest Expressed Hey, Mirror! Did you order brain pizza? You must be very confused right now. That’s natural. “Brain pizza? What’s that?!” you’re wondering. I get it. It makes no sense. How about we back...
View ArticleJe suis Juno
Nest Expressed Today, while we were all busy arguing with each other about the latest political headlines or being collectively outraged over the latest viral scandal, a humble spacecraft quietly made...
View ArticleClik here to view.
7 honest reviews of food I found in my fridge
Nest Expressed My wife and son went on vacation last Friday. I was left to my own devices (laptop, smartphone). You probably think I spent my alone time having a series of mini-comas to catch up on all...
View ArticleClik here to view.
So you’re still voting for Trump. Why the bleeping bleep?!
It’s mid-October. Less than a month to go until America elects a new president. Are you planning to vote for Trump? Cool, cool… Hey, quick question: What the actual Muslim-banning fuck?! How in the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Email troll: “Pssst, hey…got some superpowers, man?”
Many a moon ago, in the ancient year of 2012, yours truly penned an article about ridiculous superpowers for sale on eBay. Most of you read the articles, chuckled about how silly it’d be if someone...
View ArticleClik here to view.
James Comey bombshell: “Trump may be devouring infants.”
Dear Messrs Chairmen, In my previous congressional testimony, I have not mentioned Donald Trump in any capacity. Due to recent developments, I am writing to supplement my previous testimony. In...
View ArticleAnd then they were two…
This is going to surprise you, but parenting is sort of hard. Harder than owning cats, even. You take care of a tiny little human that relies on you for everything and needs near-constant attention. In...
View ArticleHere’s to seven. Go for seventy?
Exactly seven years ago, I kissed a girl (and I liked it). Fast forward to today, and we have our own place, two cats, two kids, and two wedding rings that spell “Infinity and beyond” when you put them...
View ArticleNightmare
What was that? You bolt upright. Groggy from a sleep cut short, you stay still to let your eyes adjust to the dark. The house is silent, yet you feel an uneasy presence. You scan the room, glancing...
View ArticleComrades! Mother Russia is under attack!
Dear compatriots! It is with deep sadness that I must inform you of a grave danger to our motherland. The day we feared the most has finally arrived. Early this morning, Ukraine attacked our country...
View Article